Lyrics and Music: Harry Robertson
Good day to ye Rodger — my God ye look sad.
Said he, “It’s me wife — she’s bitching real bad
With a hatchet or poison, one day I intend
My tormentor’s life to put to an end.”
Impatience and action, when they are combined,
Make near-sighted fools, o’ the far-sighted blind.
Said Lefty the lair — a cool guy was he,
“Your methods are crude and the coppers will see
That murder’s been done by an impatient man,
For your fine noble deed, you surely will hang.
So hasten quite slowly — and kill her wi’ love,
Foul play and suspicion — ye’ll stay well above
Six months and a day should be about right,
Just five times each day, and six times each night.”
“What genius!” cried Rodger, and shook Lefty’s hand,
“I’ll start on the treatment you’ve cunningly planned,
By the chastity belt that me grandmother wore,
I’ll labour six months — and then one day more.”
Six months had gone by — no Rodger was seen,
So Lefty called round to see how he’d been,
‘Twas a bright happy woman who opened the door,
And said that in health, her Rodger was poor.
She sang as she brightly showed Lefty inside
Where a ghost of a figure sat by the fireside,
Like death warmed up, shook the skinbag of bones,
And a voice rattled out in mortuary tones.
“By the great living Jesus!” the skeleton said,
“I’ve toiled like a slave — day and night in me bed,
Eleven times more is all I need give,
To fix that fool woman — with one day to live!”
© Harry Robertson,
and subsequently ©1995 Mrs Rita Robertson, Brisbane, AUSTRALIA
Registered with APRA/AMCOS www.apra-amcos.com.au