FRED THE FITTER

Lyrics: Harry Robertson
Music: Traditional Scottish
Arranged by Evan Mathieson

Chorus
Oh me name is Fred the Fitter — I’m a genius as you know
I’ve been to work each morning for these last two weeks or so
The effort’s very tiring and it’s time I did receive
A bonus for my brilliance and a few months’ service leave.

I am working in a factory — it is an awful place
They go like clappers oot o’ hell to win the bonus race
We’re making tyres for motor cars and trucks and tractors too
And the wages are like those of sin and just as deadly too.

There was Angelo the immigrant who worked along wi’ me
He fell into a tyre-mould when I hit him on the knee
“Don’t worry, ” said the foreman as the poor lad did expire,
“I’ll see that this one’s labelled ‘Foreign Made’ upon the tyre.”

Chorus

They had trouble with a boiler — the chief he sent for me
“You’re the only one can fix it,” said director number three
He really was a halfwit for he carried oot ma plan
And the boiler blew tae pieces and it killed the silly man.

The conveyor wi’ its hanging hooks was moving awful slow
I made a sight adjustment — and I pressed its button 'Go'
It took off like a rocket — by Christ it flew around
With two foremen hooked upon it, and their feet up off the ground.

Chorus

Oh it’s nice when people recognize a brilliant lad like me
The workers all insisted I should take a trip to sea
Their love for me was touching — they gave dollars by the score
And their cheers were really something as they pushed me out the door

So I’m sitting in my cabin — the ship is now at sea
My fame has travelled widely — and the Captain’s heard of me
They wouldn’t let me help them when the engine bearing knocked
They insist I take it easy — so they keep my cabin locked.

Final Chorus
Oh me name is Fred the Fitter — I’m a genius as you know
I’ve been to work each morning for the last two weeks or so
The effort’s very tiring — but at last I have received
A bonus for my brilliance — and a cruise upon the sea.

© Harry Robertson
and subsequently ©1995 Mrs Rita Robertson, Brisbane, AUSTRALIA
Registered with APRA/AMCOS www.apra-amcos.com.au